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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Let's face it - English is a crazy language

In what other language do people drive in a parkway and
park in a driveway?

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never
fall?
Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's
called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship,
it's called cargo?

Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and
people who ride bikes called cyclists?

In what other language do thay call the third hand on the
clock the second hand?

Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?


Why - in our crazy language

can your nose run and your feet smell?

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:

If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil
from?


If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?

A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something
that stings.


But fingers don't fing and grocers don't groce.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural
of booth be beeth?

If the teacher taught, why isn't it also true that the
preacher praught?

If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions,

why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?

English is a language in which you can turn a light on and
you can turn a light off and you can turn a light out, but
you can't turn a light in;

In which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up
and come down.

In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down
and your car can slow up and slow down, in which you can
fill in a form by filling out a form and in which your alarm
clock goes off by going on.

English is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun
or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible?; and why when I wind
up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I
shall end it?

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